CEONSS

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http://www.nieuwsblad.be/cnt/dmf2017070 ... id=6522806

Go to the link above, lets all go to Danmark next year to watch this race olé

moin golly nice thread

That's me after getting a day of asswhooping ^^

Well, we're close to the end of the year again and this can only mean one thing - junk drawer dump time!

This year I've got a rare treat for you all. For the first time ever, I've been given permission to share with the community an exclusive look around the server's secretive facility! CEONSS, of course, is world-renowned for the innovative ONS it delivers, a reputation matched only by its state-of-the-art anti-intrusion and counter-espionage defenses. So, with the introduction out of the way, let's get to it!

The perimeter is guarded by our twin ancient guardian deities, usually assuming the form of "innocent" cats (exterior, supernatural security layer).


Those who manage to get through by masking their true intentions next have to face mind-bending horrors, crafted out of only the finest staff nipple, back, armpit and nostril hair (lower interior, psychological layer).
It stands to reason the only intruders who'll have made it this far will probably be robots, or mindless, soulless husks (or both), a threat easily bested by our motion-sensitive, heat-tracking Roomba of Doom (upper interior, physical layer).
Alongside all that, online intruders will have to contend with our artificial, super-intelligent sentry (server room, cyber layer).


Well, there you have it, folks, an ordinary day 'round the CEONSS office. Oh, and here's a pic of one of Ema's favourite bunnies to wrap up the tour (she insisted it was friendly enough to pet, but I don't think it liked me too much).
If anyone's left wondering why CEONSS takes security so seriously, it's not just because we have world-class ONS gameplay quality secrets to preserve. I mean, have you seen what this world is turning to lately?

For one thing, social interactions have only deteriorated ever since the true, corrosive nature of social media was revealed...


For another, it's not like you can look to public figures for inspiration or moral leadership either... (it wasn't even a whole pig!)

If any of this has gotten you down though, don't despair. Never forget that the upcoming, violent revolution should still provide plenty of lucrative, anarcho-capitalist opportunities for the more enterprising among us .
Well, that's all I got for this year. Hope you're all doing okay out there, and Happy Nondescript Winter Holiday remainder to you and yours!

Well, the monument to cruelty and dysfunction that will soon be immortalized as "2018" is, mercifully, nearing its end. Besides delivering abundantly in the aforementioned respects though, it also managed to clog my junk drawer full with errant pics from so early on that by its midpoint I was considering doing a half-year post just to keep things manageable; fortunately, I held off and things leveled out soon afterwards.
Here we are again, then, this time with a richer than usual bounty and me desperately trying to sort it all into something loosely passing for a coherent narrative...

It all started as most stories do: with disquiet, division and upheaval in the air.

Seemed like just another excuse to milk our outrage, even about the more trivial stuff, like movies.
We'd argue who gets to be represented in them and how, completely distracted.
They noticed! Top predator embroiled in petty internal conflict, it was only a matter of time until the competition saw an opening.

It was too quiet to see at first, just minor things out of place.
Ever so slowly, the natural way of things started turning on its head.
Behind the scenes, designs were arranged, a new hierarchy without us!
Toppling the human order would require sharpened minds...
...and blunt, effective instruments.
The audacious plan was nothing less than full replacement of the Nietzschean Ubermensch by Ub(erb)irds above and feline overlords below - unholiest of alliances, bending nature to their (swole) whims!
Any other time, we'd have swiftly taught the unholy interlopers how their impudence ends for them.
Any other time, the unnatural usurpers would be shown their true place and purpose in OUR world.
But this wasn't any other time; this was 2018 and we had plenty of our own messy demons to deal with.

One already knew enough to mess up our lives.
After all, the desire to see it all was already there.
But many of us knew of his false, fleshy exterior, too. And he knows that we know!
With the battle still pending, the threat remains. Sure, you can try safe computing.
Sure, you can pretend his domain upholds the old traditions.
Sooner or later though, the mask slips.
The erosion is everywhere.
Battles within, without, all around ...no safe bets. And somehow, I doubt we can expect salvation from the old world order anymore.
Maybe our downfall is just a matter of time then, and a final reckoning's sweet release is all we can look forward to.
But sometimes even then, you might not get the peace you sought.
The End (but not of pants)

Good night, good luck, keep an eye out for your scheming pets, and Happy New Year, CEONSS !

Well, another year's reached its end, so it's once again time to rummage through the junk drawer n' see what kinda odd n' quirky pics it's left for us. By the looks of it, this time the theme is probably gonna be "unsurprisingly broken design".

Let's start with something most people are usually excited to look forward to.
Oh joy...

Still, if a mix of popular brands can cheer up even the grouchiest person, this one should be a slam dunk, right? Never mind.

Maybe we should just lower our expectations and seek smaller pleasures instead? Well, sssssssnack's canceled.

As ever, pets become the last refuge for comfort, which only makes it worse when yours starts desyncing.
And that's assuming your pet is properly sized to begin with. (Is that a collie-sized bunny or bunny-sized collie :s?)

I was wondering if I was getting dour for no reason, but the weatherman isn't putting up with this mess anymore either.
Clearly, our only hope to survive the impending climate disaster rests in extra-planerary intervention. Well, shit.

Looks like it's gonna be hard n' dirty work fixing this by ourselves. But at least in the end, we'll be able to roll up our sleeves and... You know what, I think I'll pass on the "rub Hulk's dong until your hands get white" method of hygiene, thanks.

"Look, I know it's vain, but at least it almost works."
"No, need for makeshift fixes doesn't mean it was a dumb design."
PC users truly know best how to fix their rig's hanging issues. (Or maybe that's what happens when you click Suspend? Never tried it.)

Disagree? Well, the keyboard warriors' new mobile divisions are now ready to take you on a Twitter fight at any moment! (Assuming gentle spacebar use and that it's not laundry day.)

Arguing online only serves to waste your time and expose you to data leaks though. Time to seal up and work on improving the world locally.
Looking back, it's been a pretty weird year...
...and that's without even all those people trying to convince us the decade's over (it's not, that's next year). Still, I hope you managed to take away something positive and inspiring from the hot mess that was 2019, if only to keep yourselves motivated enough to fight on in 2020. See you there, CEONSS .

Well, we've finally reached the end credits of the horror fest known as 2020. If you've made it this far, too, do give yourself a pat on the back, and maybe take a moment to sit down n' catch your breath. Careful you don't take enough time to start reflecting on the last twelve months though; that way lies certain (m|s)adness. Instead, why not try to distract yourself for a bit by joining in on the now traditional rummaging through Peg's junk image drawer, see if there was even some remotely funny streak to be found from this year?

Early on, it looked like people just needed rescuing from the (artful) elements.
Before long though, we had to adapt our tactics to a far harsher battlefront: hygiene.
The losses were massive and haunting.
The outside world was becoming devoid of humans, ceding the way for the kinder comeback of nature (sort of).

Our only option was retreating to shelter, bringing along the few friends that could put up with our shit ways.

But the signs were already there that animals would no longer abide by anyone's rules.
The "outside" was their domain now, a place of horrors for us, but of unchallenged comfort and dominance for them.






Well, you know what? Screw the stupid outside anyway! If 2020 taught us anything, it's that we can get by just fine on our own (half-baked) handiwork.





Plus, by suspending all social activities and never going out, think of all the money we've saved up and the wonderful things we can buy!


Okay, so maybe none of that was actually comforting, but, hey, it did distract you for a few minutes, right ? Besides, it's hard to imagine things getting any worse next year for humanity, so if there's some kinda silver lining to be found anywhere, that might as well be it. Modest expectations for now, but at least we're still alive and able to finally say good riddance to 2020. Happy New Year, everyone !

Kitten sandwich. Yummy!
Thanks for the laugh.
Happy new year!
On a second look I realize how much thought, -beyond the the well deserved laughs- went into your post.
Much appreciated.

mikel wrote: ↑Fri 1. Jan 2021, 11:26 Kitten sandwich. Yummy!
Thanks for the laugh.
Happy new year!
On a second look I realize how much thought, -beyond the the well deserved laughs- went into your post.
Much appreciated.

+1